You can see the flicker of something I’ve been trying to find…

•June 21, 2010 • 12 Comments


You set this town on fire….you melted the ice

“And I’ll be up all night
Until I know you’re alright
You lit this town on fire
You melted the ice”
-the lovers, frozen floods

shirt I designed/made for sale….

it has drawings on it that i did….on the organza, and the lyrics from the lovers’ frozen floods on it. each organza panel has a different drawing-the large piece on the front is two tigers, the second square on the front is an eye, the large piece on the back is a lovely girl, and the other piece is where the lyrics are.





there is a rose on the back with a ribbon train piece….it ties on the side to make it adjustable to the person wearing it.

size x-small

http://www.etsy.com/shop/mikaelamae

model:me

little star flower necklace/piece

little star flower bracelet/piece

materials-organza, gems, lace, ribbon, and gauze-with a transparent bead on each end of the ribbon

you can also pin it in your hair.
model: ana (this girl is so beautiful….and someone that has helped me through so much. I love photographing her.)

all the photographs were taken by me….

Girl on fire

Self portrait taken by me.
I took these originally for a series of sequential photos im starting to take for the clothes I make/alter (in this case the tights).

I have a lot of drawings/oil paintings/ paintings on organza panels to post….I’ll do so soon.
For now you have some hand pieces that I’ve made for you to wear.

I’ve always been obsessed with distressed clothing…something akin to the bohemians of the late 19th century….victorian with a hint of gypsy.
So, in turn, my clothes reflect such.
I sew everything by hand….its a personal preference even when I have a machine at my disposal.

The New Faux show with Papusza Couture

•May 20, 2010 • 8 Comments

The video of the show….

So just a few weeks ago in NYC I had the opportunity to not only model/perform (kate verb–the other model–and I were part of the twins story) but to also assist the beautiful designer Papusza Couture.

I also got the chance to model for photographer Magdalena Olek with Papusza’s clothing.

Here are some shots from the show and from the shoot with Miss Olek, which was exhibited in her show in Poland’s fashion week.

Kate getting ready  (hair and makeup) backstage

right before the show.

during our part of the performance (note—there were a lot of pieces to this performance as you will see in the video, there were such talented people… a trapese artist, a contortionist, narcissister–who is world famous for her work…wearing the beautiful siamese dress that kaytee *papusza couture* worked her as off on at the end of the show….every single person involved in this show was fucking talented and i am blessed to know them/have had the chance to meet and work with them. kaytee and gemma fleming were the masterminds behind it all, and are two women that have encouraged me from the get go with my art.)

Kate and I right when Narcisisster came on…

(the twins video that both kaytee and i made clothing for, that was gemma’s production was being projected onto the show.)


© raymond haddad
raymondhaddadphotography.com
note-other photos from this show that were not taken by me or by raymond haddad were taken by mitchell parsons and jonathan murphy.

Then here are some shots from Magdalena

*first I’ll post a pic I took of magdalena*

Here are some shots by Magdalena (there are more than I’m posting here that you can find at her website… http://www.magdalenaolek.com ….she only shoots in film, which makes her very rare in this day and age.)-

There are many more at her site. She is kind of a genius, working on the spot….really such a sweetheart too. She loves color and spring….I feel that Magdalena is a fairytale in her vision and even in who she is as a person. She’s so petite and lovely, with such an acute awareness to light…..She loves peacocks and I am actually in the midst of designing a lovely peacock for her right now.

I am really in awe of her.

Here I am with Kaytee, who I am also in awe of…..making beautiful clothing by hand, exhibiting her works at the chelsea hotel, all over…having her work in the New York times with Alexander Mcqueen…she is also originally from the Northwest, like me, and nature is a big part of her work….the collection exhibited at new faux was inspired by her journey to Iceland during fashion week there.

She has honored me with the invitation to collaborate with her on her new collection, inspired by her love and relation to the Rom. I would be painting on silk organza and such, I won’t give anything else away…but this collection has a lot of roots in loss and life….something that Kaytee has a lot of experience with overcoming.

Wearing hats that were in the show one day when we were working.

A watercolor sketch I did–it is quite large, I don’t know the dimensions exactly because I didn’t measure it before I gave it to her….It’s a sketch, but I like sketches sometimes…and it captured what I wanted at the time…which was her beauty. I’m working on a real finished piece of her in oils soon.

Gemma was the one who really got me involved with all of this….

(photo I took of her.)

So in truth, it was these lovely ladies (as well as a few others, you all know who you are–i’ve drawn most of you), as well as the man that has helped me through much of my hardships (ry)….that made new york a place I love.

(this piece was inspired after kaytee and I talked about our love of illustrations –as i do acknowledge the fact that this is what i am…an illustrator–fairytales, francesca lia block, and modern mythology…as well as watercolor…this one is fucking huge, I couldn’t even pack it when I traveled back to washington to see my mother in the hospital…)

The mind is a magical chaotic cabinet…sometimes you find things years and years later that you thought you’d forgotten…sometimes it takes years to understand.

I am blessed with all of the people in my life, I would not be able to survive the current hardships I am undergoing if it were not for them.

Live your mother fucking life…..^__^

•May 20, 2010 • Leave a Comment

feel free to hate on me, sit back there and say my hair ain’t luxurious when you know it is bitch.

^_~

I’d rather be an honest failure than a coward who never tried.

•May 19, 2010 • 14 Comments

Good artists tend to be bad students.

“You know, to be perfectly honest… When I’ve talked with the art teachers at my college and taken Painting they’ve all talked about how there IS no *perfect* color balance but you have to have keep things from competing, and Mika’s color schemes don’t. There’s nothing that looks “wrong” when you look at them. It all looks completely intentional and perhaps the viewer just missed that.
I don’t think there’s any way possible to make art “perfect”.”- Dairine

I don’t “try” to make money from my work. People inquire, people ask, people commission, I have a lot of people who like having pieces of my progress- none of what I have posted has reached the full potential of my goals-but I have evolved from where I was even just a year ago and there is no denying that.

What is kitch and what is art? What is amateur and what is professional? Egon Schiele was a genius but he broke a lot of rules. (Not that I would ever compare myself to Schiele, I merely bring him up because he is one of my favorites.).

My point in posting and selling what I create is that I am free to let go and move forward.

My point in writing about my near death experience and watching my mother in her illness, as well as my traveling, my own fucked up experiences…etc….is not to make some sweeping statement but to inspire other people who are going through their own difficult situations to reach for something more, to keep hope.

I am not claiming to be anything special.

My pieces are evidence of the things that I have survived, whether that translates to the viewer “successfully” or not is subjective.

I received a rather rude comment earlier that made me think about this, about how I may be misrepresenting myself.

I know for a fact that my work is not perfect, but I do know that it is not cheesy and it is not amateur. It is amateur in the digital documentation and perhaps in the way I present it–but the work itself, if you see it in real life, is extremely detailed and refined. Don’t get me wrong I have a long way to go, but so does everyone. Even famous working artists that I am lucky enough to call friends and mentors will tell you that they have not yet reached their goals.

At least I have the balls to be myself and to be honest about who I am and what I do-unlike some people, who prefer to hide behind a veil of anonymity.

No one is perfect.

And I like that no one is perfect, I think that is what is really beautiful–that is part of being alive…we are always changing.

Nothing is set in stone.

The only thing in life that I cannot stand is a coward.

Even in my flawed existence I know that I will never be a coward, unlike some people.

I’d rather be an honest failure than a coward who never tried.

So yes I do talk

•May 16, 2010 • 1 Comment

I recently started making videos of me talking about my work.

This one I made by myself two days ago about my education/feelngs on art-

Today I posted this with actual drawing techniques-

I had to break it up into two parts due to youtube

posting more with more techniques later due to the requests of friends.

xo

I promise you a snow halo that will last well past spring.-Chi Cheng

•May 11, 2010 • 1 Comment

Your song-

He brought fish to my window

The scales catching light as if they were still breathing

I slice through

Prisms of color dance on our hands

Reflecting off of the knife

Salmon migrate each season

Instilled in their memory

The place of their birth

I no longer know the way

To the origins of my own beginning

You are pulling apart your own flesh

Looking through the drawers of her womb

To see if anyone is still in there

My own cupboard has always been empty

Hungry but we’re used to rationing

So much light spilling out as I divide

The dead eye of the fish looking up at me

There is something caught in my throat

While you are singing

I pleaded for you

Gasping to reach inside and pull it out

The pearls of our memories

Soft like the inside of an oyster

Slide out of my mouth

I forgot that I

Put them there.

-written by Mika Jones (me) May 2010 edited by Ryan Williams of http://thirteenbridges.wordpress.com

Sculpture by me as well-I created it in 2008, in three days…..no its not a casting–i created it by hand and from my head.

art is my alchemy.

My heart never sleeps

•May 10, 2010 • 9 Comments

I must really be insane.

Title: Psyche (like in the myth)

Medium: Oils/painting

Completed May 2010

This thought occurred to me the other night when I was looking at all of my paintings, the piles of sketchbooks and the experimentations with oils on silk organza.
My entire life documented in these strange images that I try to make a living off of. Sometimes I don’t even really see them for what they are-pieces of my heart, a small taste of my dreams.

They are more than just material fragments of paper and canvas.
They are examples of my survival.

For as long as I can remember I have had an intense need to express the darkest parts of my heart. Before the word art even entered my vocabulary you could find me drawing all over the walls with my crayons as a child. Mountain and rivers.
Some stories still remain in the hallway of the house I grew up in.

Today when I travel, when verbal exchanges are not enough, my images say what I cannot.
My emotions tend to overflow from my fingertips to an extent that can be harmful to the ones I love if not managed or contained.
Drawing was one of the few things that gave me solace.
It still is.

It was more than that though, it was a way for me to show people how I saw them, or what they brought out in me. To show them their own beauty, to make them smile. Whether it be a portrait or a drawing of deer, the look in the eyes of a patron or loved one when they receive a piece or take a look at my collection is priceless. In fact if it brings tears to my eyes to see that connection, that moment of understanding. It’s amazing what one image can lead to, what stories and memories it can open up in the mind of another.
A drawing I did of a deer when I was heartbroken in the winter, something delicate that made me feel at peace, can remind another of their mother or the summer of their seventh year.
Our minds are electric in how memories pop up and pull at our heart strings, songs can be like time machines….and if so, I feel that paintings can be windows for our dreams.

So when someone asks me my story, who I am….what inspires me, this is my answer-
My love for being alive.
This love of detail and light is why I am an artist.

This connection I feel with others regardless of language.

My belief that everyone has the power to create and that we are given the ability to dream for a reason.

That and the fact that drawing and painting saved me when I’d lost nearly everything.
It was that piece of me from my childhood that I never let go of.
My dreams.
me

if i lactate i would give you some.-gemma

•April 29, 2010 • 3 Comments

this is the teaser for a video i worked on that is going to be premiered this friday at the house of yes in brooklyn!

so basically, i made some of the clothing back in november and gemma took them and kaytee papusza of papusza couture used her clothing and mine and kate verb modeled….

it was based on twins.

so the show on friday is a fashion show and i am going to be performing as a siamese twin with kate, as her tiny twin, on a tea set table with contortionists, acrobatics, and amazing dancers…..exhibiting papusza couture’s birds under the ocean collection! which is based on kaytee papusza’s venture to iceland (she exhibited in iceland’s fashion week last fall) and the beautiful landscape she fell in love with.

the music playing is a concoction of sounds—-all icelandic artists!

my first big performance-come come see!

house of yes

doors open at 8

april 30th

342 maujer street, brooklyn ny

But I’ll be up all night until I know you’re alright. You set this town on fire, you melted the ice.

•April 12, 2010 • 10 Comments

I have always been obsessed with conjoined twins both aesthetically and psychologically. This is a photograph I took of myself a few days ago imitating one of my favorite concepts.

It has been nearly a year since I updated this blog.

Perhaps it was simply that I was facing most of my demons by turning them into something beautiful on paper. When I stopped updating this blog I was knee deep in charcoal and imagery.

To this day it has always been easier for me to speak with images than with words.

Where have I been?

Or rather, where should I begin?

In the past year I have-

Had a near death experience, which was very severe and the love of the one who caught me mid seizure helped me escape that strange abyss of stars and subconcious.

Become obsessed with out of body experiences, conjoined twins, cycles of life and death, gypsies, dreams, and healing from the inside out.

Become a blonde (my hair color naturally is a weird dark blonde/light brown so going really blonde didn’t look that odd as you can see in the photograph above).

Become much more angular physically, more bones than girl; but  at the same time I’ve become much softer and more understanding internally. Strange how our hearts can either turn cold or grow warm with time (luckily mine became warmer).

Turned 23 on april 8th.

Have had the greatest pleasure in making friends with people who are truly talented and supportive. I have learned a lot from them.

Participated in a group show in Tokyo *two paintings were exhibited*

Gone to school, studied science (anatomy and the female reproductive system, as well as the process of the formation of the fetus in utero in particluar), and then left.

My mother, who I have written about a lot, was in a car accident this summer-in her already frail state she slipped into a coma, woke up, had a tracheostomy which limited her communication further, cannot move, in the hospital.

And despite all of that, she’s still the most beautiful person I know.

I learned a lot about what love really is, about pain, and about my own heart and its fragile tendencies.

I went to los angeles, portland, seattle, and new york.

I am in new york.

I make most of my living off of my illustration and tattoo design work.

But I could not do that without the help of those I love.

I will have to start posting on here as much as I can again.

For now I will leave you with something I wrote awhile back, seriously months ago….and I have the answers to the questions that I ask here now…and understand that love goes far deeper than the left ventricle, and that by facing my darkest fears I am no longer afraid. Love forces you to face yourself and grow.
This was written during a time when I was questioning linguistics and the power of words-and how easily words can be twisted and misunderstood.
You see what you want to see.
Which causes one to question, what is truth then? What is really there? Do we see the same thing?

I am very happy to be alive even in these difficult times.

They say parents with baby girls have bad karma….

Over and over I pick at a wound that never seems to heal. It reminds me of my mother’s bedsores, always fresh and carrying within the smallest vessel the threat of death, a constant reminder that life is never really fair.

I don’t even know what to think anymore. I read once that the left mind is adept at language but unable to determine a situation by sight, while the right mind can capture everything in a visual space but be unable to put it into words…carrying mysteries and a dialogue between the two sides that doesn’t always work. Apparently when there is damage to the left side of the brain females are more likely to recover and regain the ability for language more often than males.

The concept of communication is tricky. I’ve lived in countries where I had a limited ability to verbally communicate, but communicated more honestly visually. Straight and to the point.

I did my best modeling jobs for companies that did not speak any english, save for “move to the right. look at the camera” it was all gestural posing, all hands and eyebrows.

Language is strange, it unfolds in a way where things can get lost between the periods and spaces. One can pick apart and dissect a conversation and never really understand what was said.

The concept of lying is something I will never fully understand. One often lies when they are afraid, or trying to protect something. But then there are lies that are deliberate, cruel, and out of spite. I had never really experienced the latter, although the former was always familiar in some sense.

In the past year the shell of belief that I held cracked. I found that suddenly the foundation I had built for myself was false, a complete delusion. I realized what true loneliness was, in a sense betrayal left me alone more than death could. Perhaps it was a death in its own right, a death of the life I thought I was living.

It’s funny how selfish people are, how impossible it is for them to comprehend the effects their actions have on others. For some, the only person who matters is themselves. I wonder if that is the loneliest place to be? Or are they fullfilled in this manner?

A large part of me was cracked open this past year and taken apart. I felt like one of the bodies in the anatomy classes of Versalius, open in the middle of a stadium for all to see. Perhaps it was like that, perhaps I was just some study for the ones who performed the procedure. Here was my heart, watch how thin the layers of the right atrium are when punctured. The human heart thrives on an all-or-nothing law and, if stopped, the entire body will shut down within a matter of minutes.

And then you wonder why I had such difficulty in maintaining function once you had pulled on the aorta and eaten away at the left ventricle? Once my chest had been cracked open for the simple concept of study?

Humans are complex and yet so simple in their departure.

I have spent a long time trying to pull my heart out of the jaws of a coyote ever since that initial dissection.

You you you-could mean so many things;

Death, destruction, lies, cruelty, the blackest parts of winter….

or love.

oh and through my dark dark winters I finally understood the concept of color.

My work, which was mostly charcoal before (which I also loved for its own sense of luminescence.) is now drenched in soft, colorful tones….like light through a prism.I have a lot more.

Some links to check out-

for my stuff (more art, etc)

http://www.etsy.com/shop/mikaelamae

http://www.myspace.com/snoozekitten

http://www.flickr.com/photos/sheclimbeddownthetree

http://www.facebook.com/mikamaejones

for some people I admire (just a few for now, I will post more later.)

http://thirteenbridges.wordpress.com

http://www.myspace.com/tongueoftheleech

http://factorygirls.wordpress.com

http://www.gemmafleming.com

http://www.papuszacouture.com/

http://violynn.deviantart.com

I will post more soon, no more hiatus.

xoxo

M

I know what happened to your sister, it had something to do with rabbits, didn’t it?

•May 22, 2009 • 16 Comments

can you spot the swan? self portrait.

My mother and my sister.

I love her, and I hate that I break her heart again and again.

Elijiana with her bird…

Dead easter bird…

Times are darker and darker for me, but I find that somehow there is light.

I am loved, even if I have no foundation.

I started a tumblr account for all of my random quick pieces of expression—

http://volatilestructure.tumblr.com
more art here-

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mikamae

http://www.artslant.com/global/artists/show/81424-mika-jones