My heart never sleeps
I must really be insane.
Title: Psyche (like in the myth)
Completed May 2010
This thought occurred to me the other night when I was looking at all of my paintings, the piles of sketchbooks and the experimentations with oils on silk organza.
My entire life documented in these strange images that I try to make a living off of. Sometimes I don’t even really see them for what they are-pieces of my heart, a small taste of my dreams.
They are more than just material fragments of paper and canvas.
They are examples of my survival.
For as long as I can remember I have had an intense need to express the darkest parts of my heart. Before the word art even entered my vocabulary you could find me drawing all over the walls with my crayons as a child. Mountain and rivers.
Some stories still remain in the hallway of the house I grew up in.
Today when I travel, when verbal exchanges are not enough, my images say what I cannot.
My emotions tend to overflow from my fingertips to an extent that can be harmful to the ones I love if not managed or contained.
Drawing was one of the few things that gave me solace.
It still is.
It was more than that though, it was a way for me to show people how I saw them, or what they brought out in me. To show them their own beauty, to make them smile. Whether it be a portrait or a drawing of deer, the look in the eyes of a patron or loved one when they receive a piece or take a look at my collection is priceless. In fact if it brings tears to my eyes to see that connection, that moment of understanding. It’s amazing what one image can lead to, what stories and memories it can open up in the mind of another.
A drawing I did of a deer when I was heartbroken in the winter, something delicate that made me feel at peace, can remind another of their mother or the summer of their seventh year.
Our minds are electric in how memories pop up and pull at our heart strings, songs can be like time machines….and if so, I feel that paintings can be windows for our dreams.
This connection I feel with others regardless of language.
My belief that everyone has the power to create and that we are given the ability to dream for a reason.